Mulberry, 0 Miles
"Let thy words be few."
~Ecclesiastes 5:2
We're laying low today, taking care of some business and writing, so I decided to try another interview with the Gold Wing.
Kevin: First, thanks for taking the time for this interview.
Gold Wing: Certainly.
KP: We need to start with a few ground rules, however. No disparaging comments about the trailer, other heavy weights real or imagined, or the vinyl wrap-
GW: Why all the rules? No interview then.
KP: Fine.
GW: Wait. I have an idea. I'll interview you.
KP: Uh, okay, sure.
GW: Tell your readers why you would subject your bike to towing a heavy trailer.
KP: No, you've crossed over there. That's a leading question.
GW: Oh, very well, here's a softball. How is the trip?
KP: We are having a great time. I actually thought by now we'd be about done and want to head home, but we had a relaxing two weeks and are ready to resume the tour.
GW: Maybe that's because you went on a one week cruise and left me in a dark parking garage with that trailer hooked up all wee-
KP: Hang on there-
GW: And the heavy steel sewing machine, Ethyl.
KP Okay, that's enough.
GW: Why does she have a name and not me?
KP: Okay, that's a tough question. Quilter Girl named her.
GW: Well?
KP: Uh... I don't know. You want a name. What do you think?
GW: Lady Gaga.
KP: What?
GW: She dresses like an idiot. And with this vinyl wrap-
KP: You look lovely. It's eye catching, a great conversation starter, and patriotic.
GW: I'll give you the patriotic.
KP: And with the map on the side, it's all American.
GW: LIbby.
KP: Huh?
GW: Like from Liberty. You can call me Libby from now on.
KP: Okay.
GW: Fourteen months, pathetic.
KP: What's fourteen months?
GW: It took you to name me. What? Did it take you two years to name your kids? "Here boy, whoever you are!"
KP: Okay, that's enough.
GW: That's enough... what?
KP: That's enough harassment.
GW: No, no. That's enough... Libby.
KP: Okay. That's enough Libby. Well that clears up the gender question.
GW: What's that?
KP: Readers wanted to know if you were a boy or girl.
GW: What? What is the matter with these people? Can't they tell? The smooth lines, the graceful curves?
KP: Well, one pointed out... I can't say it.
GW: Spit it out.
KP: Well... you have a trailer hitch.
GW: A trailer- oh come on! Did your readers take biology in High School? I have a RECEIVER. Watch the slide shows, people!
KP: I apologize for all of them. Truly. Sorry.
GW: I'm deeply offended.
KP: I'll make it up. Let's see; I'll, oh, I'll polish your rear wheel.
GW: About time! I look like a- a- a dump truck. Yesterday a Yamaha sport bike pulled up beside me and snickered. It hurts, I tell you.
KP: Oh, shake it off. No way a bike like that could pull a trailer.
GW: Trailer! You brought it up. I hate that thing. Sell it or push it off a cliff, leave it for a dump truck to pull it, I don't care-
KP: Libby, please-
GW: I'll freeze a bearing and then you'll be sorry.
KP: Okay this interview is over, thank Libb-
GW: Take it to Salvation Army. Do one of those car donation things. Auction it.
KP: Over Libby, say goodbye to the readers-
GW: Junk it, trade it, abandon it-
KP: Goodbye and thanks for following!
4 comments:
I read the quote from Eccleastes 5:2, so... no comment.
It didn't say, "Let your words be none."
KP
Well, okay then... here's a few words.
It's nice to learn that GW... I mean Libby, is female. Otherwise, you guys might still be lost somewhere in Minnesota. Afterall, as Libby will gladly tell you, males are much too proud to ask directions.
One more thing... Don't tell Libby, but someone has scribbled graffiti all over the maps on her saddle bags. Probably happened when you flew to Cali to play with the grandkids, or when you abandoned her for a week to 'find your beach.' Some owners you are! Keep this up and, before you know it, she'll need medication and/or therapy. I'm just sayin'.
Hey hey hey, quiet. The scribbling on the saddlebags? She thinks it's mascara.
KP
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