Mulberry, 0 Miles
"Let thy words be few."
We're laying low today, taking care of some business and writing, so I decided to try another interview with the Gold Wing.
Kevin: First, thanks for taking the time for this interview.
Gold Wing: Certainly.
KP: We need to start with a few ground rules, however. No disparaging comments about the trailer, other heavy weights real or imagined, or the vinyl wrap-
GW: Why all the rules? No interview then.
GW: Wait. I have an idea. I'll interview you.
KP: Uh, okay, sure.
GW: Tell your readers why you would subject your bike to towing a heavy trailer.
KP: No, you've crossed over there. That's a leading question.
GW: Oh, very well, here's a softball. How is the trip?
KP: We are having a great time. I actually thought by now we'd be about done and want to head home, but we had a relaxing two weeks and are ready to resume the tour.
GW: Maybe that's because you went on a one week cruise and left me in a dark parking garage with that trailer hooked up all wee-
KP: Hang on there-
GW: And the heavy steel sewing machine, Ethyl.
KP Okay, that's enough.
GW: Why does she have a name and not me?
KP: Okay, that's a tough question. Quilter Girl named her.
KP: Uh... I don't know. You want a name. What do you think?
GW: Lady Gaga.
GW: She dresses like an idiot. And with this vinyl wrap-
KP: You look lovely. It's eye catching, a great conversation starter, and patriotic.
GW: I'll give you the patriotic.
KP: And with the map on the side, it's all American.
GW: Like from Liberty. You can call me Libby from now on.
GW: Fourteen months, pathetic.
KP: What's fourteen months?
GW: It took you to name me. What? Did it take you two years to name your kids? "Here boy, whoever you are!"
KP: Okay, that's enough.
GW: That's enough... what?
KP: That's enough harassment.
GW: No, no. That's enough... Libby.
KP: Okay. That's enough Libby. Well that clears up the gender question.
GW: What's that?
KP: Readers wanted to know if you were a boy or girl.
GW: What? What is the matter with these people? Can't they tell? The smooth lines, the graceful curves?
KP: Well, one pointed out... I can't say it.
GW: Spit it out.
KP: Well... you have a trailer hitch.
GW: A trailer- oh come on! Did your readers take biology in High School? I have a RECEIVER. Watch the slide shows, people!
KP: I apologize for all of them. Truly. Sorry.
GW: I'm deeply offended.
KP: I'll make it up. Let's see; I'll, oh, I'll polish your rear wheel.
GW: About time! I look like a- a- a dump truck. Yesterday a Yamaha sport bike pulled up beside me and snickered. It hurts, I tell you.
KP: Oh, shake it off. No way a bike like that could pull a trailer.
GW: Trailer! You brought it up. I hate that thing. Sell it or push it off a cliff, leave it for a dump truck to pull it, I don't care-
KP: Libby, please-
GW: I'll freeze a bearing and then you'll be sorry.
KP: Okay this interview is over, thank Libb-
GW: Take it to Salvation Army. Do one of those car donation things. Auction it.
KP: Over Libby, say goodbye to the readers-
GW: Junk it, trade it, abandon it-
KP: Goodbye and thanks for following!