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50 States, Day 181

50 States, Day 181
 
"We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone."
~Ronald Reagan


(Lights up)
Welcome back everyone to the second night of our '50 States Awards Banquet,' as the trip hits the halfway mark. We've already given out awards for many categories including Best Meal, Worst Driver, and the one packed with controversy, Best Church. Let's get started tonight, and thanks for coming back.
Our first category is
 
BEST MUSEUM
Another split vote on this one and we'll start with Quilter Girl's winner...
And the winner is-the Corning Glass Museum! (Thunderous applause). The Corning table looks particularly nice tonight with leaded crystal vases at every setting. And their plates look magnificent.
Now for Kevin's winner...all the way from Austin, Minnesota, the Spam Museum!
Easy to spot their contingent, as they are all dressed in blue with yellow shorts and white shoes. And I think we should stop serving drinks at that table too. Bunch of crazies. Next, we have one of the hardest fought battles, the


 BEST CAPITOL AWARD
Another split and Kevin gets the first shot here. And the winner-a surprise here-of all the candidates, Iowa! Yes, such a
pedantic state but their Capitol does look excellent. And watch those Iowans. They've been cracking corny jokes all night.
QG's winner is...Montpelier, Vermont! Very nice, approachable building, kids playing Frisbee on the front lawn, and a long and deep history. Come on up here and get that trophy. And a stars and stripes tie. Very nice.
Oh, looks like there is trouble at table seven. Seems the churches are still arguing about last night's award...and a fight breaks out! Quick! Call security and escort the churches out of the building.
Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen. Thought we had that settled last night. Our next award is for


 BEST CITY
Kevin and Quilter Girl split again on this one.
Sherri' pick is...Cape May, New Jersey!
And Kevin's champion is...Moab, Utah. Here's your trophy. And nice flannel shirts.
 
Tonight we crown


 THE FRIENDLIEST
And the award goes to Rhode Island. This may take awhile. He's shaking hands and talking to everyone as he makes his way to the podium. Congratulations.
 
And now, the category you've all been waiting for. The hardest fought category of the entire night. I can't be specific, but the voting was very close, many states could have won this, but our winner...of


 THE WORST ROADS
is... Minnesota! Come on up here! Yes, twelve states were in the running, but Minnesota's fifteen miles of detour over a gravel road gave them a leg up on the competition. Kevin assured me that potholes and frost have played a vital role in their victory too.
Alaska complained that their roads are way worse, and they deserved the trophy, but Kevin cut them some slack for their permafrost. Congratulations, Minnesota.
 Another split decision for our category of


BEST NATIONAL PARK
First, Quilter Girl's choice, and the winner is...
Acadia National Park in Maine!
And Kevin's pick is...
Glacier National Park in Montana. Congratulations.


 THE BEST MOTORCYCLE ROAD
And the winner is... Glenallen to Valdez, Alaska! Noted not only for its curves and riding pleasure, but the magnificent views on either side, with greenery and three hundred foot waterfalls. Congratulations. It must be quite a road, as
Kevin indicated that parts of it was under construction at the time, too.
The next category is
 
THE STATE YOU WOULD LIKE TO LIVE IN
Kevin's winner is Vermont, with their autumn colors, approachable Capitol, small state feel and maple syrup. Too bad it's so far east, or he claims he'd move there.
QG's winner is...Michigan! Probably because the Tigers are in the World Series. No? Quilter Girl's shaking her head no. Ah. Beautiful beaches, landscapes, cute towns like Harbor Springs and Holland.  
 
BEST CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST
Holiday Inn Express, Manchester, New Hampshire with its delicious omelets, scrambled eggs, sausage and bacon. And let's not forget that pancake wonder, the pancake machine that poops out two 'cakes in two minutes. Sorry, the censors say I shouldn't have used the word 'pooped.'
 
WORST CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST
Howard Johnson's San Diego, California. Milk, Frosted Flakes and sweet rolls wrapped in plastic. Oh, and coffee. Apparently Howard declined coming to the party and went out to dinner with friends.
 
And finally, Quilter Girl and Kevin want to particularly thank all the hosts and hostesses that so graciously shared their houses and meals with them on the Adventure.
 
Thank you ladies and gentlemen; we hope you enjoyed your evening and that you had a great time. And whatever you do, drive safely home tonight. Excuse me. Oh, I just got word that the churches are outside, apparently still embroiled in conflict over the Best Church Award, so if anyone feels uncomfortable, we'll provide an escort out to your car or to the valet stand.
Thanks once again and we'll see you in six months for The Finals.




 
 
 
 

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

psssttt...you forgot to add the 'Your Favorite Niece' award. But I forgive. :) :) -Leah

................................ Kevin Parsons said...

No wonder people were picketing and angry. The signs read, 'give credit where it is due,' I figured it was the churches.
And now, Ladies and gentlemen, the After Award you've all been waiting for... THE FAVORITE NIECE AWARD! And the award goes to... Leah DeVine!
Just a minute... Phone call... Hmm screen reads, 'Niece Michaela.' I better take that later. Oh oh. another call... 'Niece Rachelle.'
Ladies and gentlemen, you'll have to excuse me. I've got to do a litlle cleaning up.

Mel Nason said...

You've mentioned several times now that Glenallan to Valdez is an awesome road. NOW that you've given it your 'BEST ROAD TO RIDE AWARD', I'm really interested. Let me know if you'd like to ride Alaska in a year or two with me and one or two others.

................................ Kevin Parsons said...

We have actually talked about doing it... this summer, if we're not too burned out when we get back. And so far we aren't. But the summer after, for sure. It will take some planning, but would be a really great tour.
KP

Mel Nason said...

Alaska Motorcycle Tour? I'm down! Oops... poor choice of words. I mean, 'Count me in'! Summer 2013 or 2014... either works for me. Let's talk more next year!

................................ Kevin Parsons said...

Get some Mucklucks and rain gear. And we'll go... Sometime.
Woo hoo!