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50 States Day 180

50 States, Day 180
 
"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but the seeds that you plant."
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Welcome to our Halfway Through The 50 States In 50 Weeks Awards Show. The marketing team didn't like our title as they thought it was too long and would waste precious air time when the show got televised. You all look great tonight! Thanks for coming out. Let's get to the awards!
 
BEST FOOD
Oh, yeah the food. I declare Spikes the winner. (Thunderous applause) For the first time in my life, the ribs truly were 'fall off the bone.' I picked up the first rib and the meat-all of it-slid off the bone. Tender, succulent and light, a treat for the tongue. Congratulations, Spikes! The runner up? Maine. Lobster Macaroni. They made a delicious macaroni and
cheese, add lobster, cover with breading and bake until crisp.
QG gives the trophy to the Chicken Chipotle macaroni and cheese. Those Mainers can cook!
The runner up goes to Chicken Piccata in Ohio. The chicken was tender and moist, crisp on the outside and light on the inside.


 
BEST CAMPGROUND
Give it up for the Jackson Wyoming KOA! Come on up here, Jackson. Yes, they had great restrooms with the showers and facilities together in one room. And the one thing that put them to the top was adjacent white water rafting. Lava Hot Springs, Idaho gets the nod from Quilter Girl as once again the river ran right behind our tent. Awesome ambiance. Great job, LHS KOA.
 
Now ladies and gentlemen, a very important category,
 
BEST RESTROOM
And the trophy goes to...Cedar City KOA! Yes, with its black tile, music, tiled showers and mirror clean condition, it wins the coveted trophy. Great job.
 
And now, the category you've all been waiting for...
 

BEST CHURCH
And the Award goes to New Break Church in Terrasanta, California. Come on up here. Wait. What? The other churches are complaining. It seems they think New Break wasn't on the 50 States Adventure. We visited New Break while taking a-
break-to visit the kids. The judges gather to wrestle with this dilemma. The judges ruling...New Break is not eligible. Pastor Mike graciously hands back the trophy and waves to the crowd. What a stand up guy. The committee confers, confirms and the winner is...
Mount Comfort Methodist Church in Indiana! Come on up, Pastor Dave! The church gets an honorable mention for Most friendly too, as the faithful invited me to their potluck after the service. And Pastor Dave gets the Friendly Pastor Award, as he emailed me later to check up on our trip. Awesome job, Pastor Dave! And grow some hair. You look like a light bulb. Oops. The show is live? Sorry.
 
Speaking of friendly, the next award is
 
THE FRIENDLIEST CHURCH AWARD
First place goes to Friendship Alliance Church. Yes, Kevin and QG could hardly leave the place, as the small congregation chatted them up for most of an hour on the entry deck. Great job!
 
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the awards you've been waiting for...the stupid awards! We'll begin with
 
THE STUPIDEST STATEMENT AWARD



And the runner up is;
"I would have bought a Harley." Yes, the guy said it in the Wal Mart parking lot, indicating that he's superior, but giving away the fact that he doesn't even own a bike. Oh. He's not here to get his award tonight. Scheduling conflict? Says his bike broke down. We'll mail it to him.
And first place goes to, "I know a guy who could've painted it better than that." (Referring to the bike). People clap and nod. Of course! The church picketers in Topeka Kansas. The guy showed his hand, that he's a hater, while picketing a church. Great job!


STUPIDEST DRIVER
This category had multiple entrants. People sit on the edge of their seats. And the award goes to...
The guy who almost hit the trailer pulling in on an empty rural road! Yes, of course, all he needed to do was pause for a second and stop jeopardizing the happy couple. What? He's not here either? Got in a car wreck. Pity.




          WORST WEATHER AWARD
No drama here, the snowstorm wins by a landslide. Wet snow, four inches, in the month of May. Crashing the bike into the Jersey Wall and getting hit by a three quarter ton pickup. And temperatures in the high 20s. Congratulations Denver, Colorado!
 
Ladies and gentlemen, the night is getting long, especially with the churches bickering over their award category. The union says they'll turn out the lights in fifteen minutes. We'll continue the awards banquet tomorrow night, including the Best City Award, Best State, Best Capitol and more. Be sure to come back, and for crying out loud, drive safe!


2 comments:

Pam said...

Best awards presentations ever..... humor and NO speeches !!! ha!

................................ Kevin Parsons said...

And NO political comments, no telling me not to vote for Lucifer or Satan. Thanks!