Easter Mutterings, Musings, Rants and Raves

Why does Santa get so much press and the Easter Bunny get so little? Probably because he brings so many ridiculous gifts.

What's the Easter Bunny got to do with anything anyway? Oh sure, spring and fertility. Right.
Maybe the bunnymeister gets a short straw because of Easter eggs. A kid goes out and hunts for the colorful eggs, finds them, then peels and eats hard boiled eggs. A bit of a letdown compared to Halloween candy.

Because I visited my dad for Easter, I attended a vigil service Saturday night (2-1/2 hours!) and Mass on Sunday. The Catholics really know how to do up Easter.
I like so many different types of music, but sure appreciated the handbell choir. What a cool bunch of people- ringers, every one of them.

Why do we say, "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Easter"?
Something I learned this Easter. Abraham and Isaac were examples of the father willing to sacrifice his Son. But another foretelling was Isaac carrying the wood for his own sacrifice, while Jesus carried the wooden cross for His sacrifice.
Hmm. Santa says,"Ho ho ho." The rabbit doesn't say anything.
I remember an Easter eggs hunt inside our house when I was around five years old. No one realized we'd missed an egg until a week or so later. Found it!
There's almost no Easter music. 'Here Comes Peter Cottontail,' but who's heard that song in the past twenty years? Who even knows the song?

When I was a kid, everyone got new outfits for Easter. The ladies wore colorful hats, and new spring-pretty dresses. I saw people at Mass wearing shorts and flip flops.
Give the Catholics credit; they know how to kneel. Does any other denomination/church? Respect.
Merry Easter to all,and to all a good day.

Mutterings and Musings

Some things I just don't get:

We're more concerned with safety than ever. Like bike helmets. When I was young, I'd just bust my head open and haul home, crying, for some hugs and cookies from Ma. Now I saw my seventeen month old grandkids wearing helmet, on their trikes in the back yard on the grass. Okay, but then my grandson (a whisker short of two) just got a new bike- a bicycle mind you- with no pedals and no brakes! Oh, he's crashed all right. They say he'll learn to ride a bike better and sooner. And heal faster too! At least he'll get hugs and cookies.

Cops chase guys that hold up 7-11s for eighty bucks, but white collar crimes- in the tens of thousands and more- go unchecked. I realize the 7-11 crook has a gun and that makes it a big deal. But still.

Las Vegas cops will no longer investigate non-injury auto accidents.There's a can of worms for the courts with 'he said she said.' The ambulance chasing lawyers gotta love that. They love the fight. I bet it causes our insurance rates to spike. At least they can cut the city's budget, right? Right?

How can anyone lose an airliner? I bet Google could find it. Wouldn't some satellite, somewhere, have seen it?  

When are we going to stop throwing money at schools and expect different results? When will we reward good behavior and punish bad? After the bank bailouts, I guess we don't roll that way anymore.

Why is smoking so evil- every ten minutes a new study reminds us of the perils of smoking- and marijuana gets a free pass? I can't believe ingesting any smoke in your lungs is a good thing.

Did you know Nevada has no lottery? The casinos don't want competition. Cowards.

Our garbage service included picking up our trash twice a week. Believe me, when it's a buck ten in the shade, it's good to see it go. However, Republic Services (almost as big as Google) changed it to once a week. Huh. Didn't see any cost savings for us. Curious.

How did we ever live without cell phones, Facebook, Twitter and texting? I still see people texting and talking on the phone while driving. I always want to honk and give them the 'whatup?' signal, but I'm chicken.
Nevada has a new safety program call 'Zero Fatalities.' Seems like it's statistically impossible. Actually, it could work. Just ban motor vehicles. Problem solved. Suicides might go up.

And finally, where did all the good comedians go? Remember Red Skelton? He always ended his show with a wave and,
"Goodbye, and may God bless."

Discount Tire- Saying No While Saying Yes

I love great service. When someone goes the extra mile or makes my buying experience better, I appreciate it. A few days ago my boss/son/partner Tim took a truck to Discount Tire for some new skins. The order was a bit different, as he wanted the front fires removed and mounted on two other wheels, a new tire mounted on the third wheel, and new tires on the front. A few hours later Tim asked me to check on it and pick it up I said sure.
I googled 'discount tire henderson' and found three options,and there it was, the Boulder Highway branch. I called and got Marty. Our conversation went something like this:
"Discount Tire, I'm Marty, how can I help you?"
"Hi Marty, I'm Kevin with Parsons Rocks (A little product placement there) and we left a flatbed truck there for some tire work. It is done?"
Okay, hit pause right there. I've called the wrong branch. Marty looks around and can't find a Parsons truck, nor an order. Here's what he could have said;
"Sir, I'm sorry, but we have no truck like that. Perhaps you should try another branch." 100% true statement, no problem. But here's what Marty said. Hit play:
"I'm pretty sure your truck's finished, but it isn't at our store.If you don't mind waiting, I'll check some other stores for you."
I realized my mistake, thanked him and called the Marks store myself.
Is that awesome or what? First, he gave me an affirmative GUESS that the truck is done. Then he goes the extra mile and offers to find my truck, and solve my problem. I took care of it myself, but what great positive answers and awesome service! A tip of the face shield to Discount Tire.
And the truck? Done, just like we requested, and ready to go.

Angels- They Are Everywhere!

I rode a fifty mile bike ride last week, and during the ride encountered a flat tire. I possessed a spare tube, but lacked air. Apparently my Boy Scout training, 'Be Prepared' had worn off. Enter Mary, another rider who stopped upon seeing my dilemma. Pretty obvious, since I set the bike upside down, took the wheel off and stood beside it with Basset Hound eyes.

Mary and a friend stopped and she asked what was my problem. Rather than state ALL my problems, I kept it tight to the air situation. She got off her bike an offered her air, a nifty pump/cartridge thingy. I told her I'd just pump it up, as I didn't want to use up her only cartridge. She replied that if she had a problem it would give someone else the chance to be a Good Samaritan. What a great attitude. I decided to get a similar system to hers and buy two cartridges, making me once more a good scout.
As Mary pedaled away,she said over her shoulder, "Have a blessed day."

I already did.

So forget when was the last time you saw an angel, the question is, when was the last time you were an angel?

Super Bowl Commercials- The Touchdowns

First, a test. How many commercials were aired during the Super Bowl? This includes from the kickoff to one segment after the game ended, 30 second spots or more, none of the little blurbs. a.) 37 b.) 51 c.) 68 d.) 87 The answer at the bottom. Since they spent a jillion dollars (perhaps a gazillion?) on each commercial, getting their spot to a touchdown looked pretty daunting. You got thirty seconds, or a minute or more, to wow us. However, I think quite a few did the happy dance in the end zone. My five picks for winners, from number five to one: 5.) The engineers that get their wings when a car turns 100k miles. Very creative,and it demonstrates the car's dependability. Do you remember which car? VW. And the rainbows- um- making an appearance after 200k miles? Hilarious. Very clever, Volkswagen. Six points.

4.)Doritos. The two kids aren't going to help unload the groceries, until the announcement, they will get Doritos if they do. Big brother takes off, little sister, with a huge age and size disadvantage, mounts the dog like a horse, lassoes the chips and overcomes her big brother. Clever and funny! And we know, people will do anything for Doritos. Score!

3.) The 'I Believe in Miracles- You Sexy Thing' bull. Chevy truck. The song made the spot work, ingenuitive, cute, and the truck pulled the cow, demonstrating that Chevy trucks work. I like commercials that both entertain and show us the product's features and benefits. Check the scoreboard, oh yeah!

2.) The scene opens with rich people in a hostage situation. A Russian tells the hostage (that we can't see), in Russian, what he's going to do to her, ending with, 'I'm going to cut you up and sprinkle you on ice cream.' Huh? It's the yellow M&M! It helped to see the previous buildup commercial, where she got hit with a tranquilizer dart, days before the Super Bowl. However, it wasn't necessary. M&Ms catches the ball, breaks three tackles and SCORES!

1.) The Touchdown and Two Point Conversion trophy goes to: The family at breakfast, Dad uses Cheerios to demonstrate to daughter (she's so cute!) how they are going to have a little brother or sister. Dad thinks it's an informational meeting, Mom (with the bump showing) looks on and marvels at her husband's ingenuity. The daughter however (she's so cute!) considers it a negotiation and slides in another Cheerio, stating that it represents the new puppy. Dad concedes and Mom gives us the most precious 'deer in the headlights' look. Homey, family, creating an emotional connection, and getting Cheerios into the equation. Excellent job! Yay team.

What a great time. It's amazing that advertisers spend billions (literally) entertaining us while pitching their products. Stay tuned tomorrow for 'Super Bowl Commercials- The Interceptions,' the ones that didn't make it. You may be surprised at my choices. How many commercials ran during the big game? Eighty seven. Way more than I would have guessed. Way to go Hawks! I'm originally from Seattle,so it was a great great game. Later this week I'll also post a Motivational Minute' on Russell Wilson, QB for Seattle. His post game interview said so much.

The iPhone 7.0

We haven't done a product test for awhile, so after buying an iPhone, I decided to give it a month and deliver a full, well informed report. I learned, after the iPad (the tool of Satan), not to gush too early, as my experience with it went from marveling delight to confusion to disappointment to anger to MORE anger to MORE ANGER to surrender to acceptance. We'll skip all that.
However, buying the iPhone at the Verizon store in Cedar City from Katie was a wonderful experience. Katie didn't play the 'super geek' card, so I could actually understand her. She took plenty of time to show me it's features (perhaps because there were no other customers) and went above and beyond, like removing the thousand plus Facebook addresses from my Contacts. No idea how they got there.
Speaking of contacts, those all get transferred. Very nice.

The camera works fine and it's an 8 megasquirts of power, so the pictures look great.
I'm getting dialed in on Facebook, LinkedIn and Hootsuite, so my social media will tire of me easily. "Getting the oil changed! They're even vacuuming the floor!" "Swept the floor. Found this huge dust bunny." "I just SO tripped on the first step!"
The good news: The iPhone syncs with the iPad, so if I schedule something in one, it's in the other. And because the operating system is similar to the iPad's, I could mange it from the start.
The touch screen is colorful, with large, readable icons and text, so I can easily text while driving. Kidding! I only text on motorcycles.
Now the great news: It has a battery, that actually keeps a charge. My worthless Droid couldn't hold a charge on any given day, so I would turn it off until I needed it, frustrating people who attempted to call me. I know, turn off the Internet and all that, but still the battery was pathetic. Now, I leave it the iPhone on all day, and when people call, I actually answer. Most of the time.
So call me, and I'll tell you how wonderful my iPhone works.

A New, Improved Ski Resort

Brian Head teems with worker bees, getting it refurbished for the upcoming ski season, rushing to finish before the snow flies. Improvements include expanding the outdoor patio area to triple it's size, complete with two gas island fireplaces.

The lodge is getting remodeled and improved inside and out, and the big project, the lake, is about finished and being filled with fresh mountain water, making it a gorgeous green color. They took the dirt from the lake and improved the ski runs, pretty clever.

They built a pump house for more water too, the longest lasting project perhaps in history for it's size (3 years.) Plus, they built a new ATV/snowmobile trail to the lodge area, to keep traffic separated.

BH has always been a redneck ski resort, missing the mark by just a bit here and there. Like the Mall, a building housing six businesses, including an interior decorator, general store, pizza place, snowmobile rentals and er, two vacancies.

A bit of trivia: Brian Head contains over 1,400 houses, and a few more than 87 permanent residents.

With new ownership, the place looks to be much better. No Park City, but who wants an expensive, snotty place like that anyway? A few weeks and a couple of feet of snow later, we'll see how it turned out. Can't wait.

P.S.: Ever wanted to own your own snow grooming machine? Who hasn't? It's for sale,your lucky day.

What a Time to Live!

I spoke with my sister on the phone as she described a great book, a common interest of ours. As she waxed on about it, I grabbed my iPad and touched a bunch of tabs on screens.
"I got it."
"What?"
"The book. I downloaded it."
We live in amazing times.

My wife searched 'free books' on her Nook and got eight million hits. There isn't a library in the world that can do that. And she's got hundreds of books in the little slim thing. Of course, she can check her email too.
Phones that take not good, but great pictures. Stick a few dozen on Facebook for everyone to see. Shoot a short video and send it to your cousin in Italy. Skype your wife when you're working away from home.

This morning I remembered I needed to renew the license on my bike, so I got my wallet off the nightstand and paid for it and got it ordered. Before I got out of bed. Anybody remember standing in line at the DMV?

GPS didn't exist just a few years ago, and before it came into being, my youngest son spent a good part of his life driving around, lost.

Buy a flat screen TV for a few hundred bucks. Incredible picture, right?

Remember economy cars from the sixties? The VW bug featured a four speed, wipers and (terrible) heater , maybe an AM radio. You had to jump on the bumper to get the hood clear to open it. Today's cheap cars feature air conditioning, seat belts, air bags, and dependable comfort. No one under thirty knows what a starting procedure for a cold car means.

Play a thousand songs on a device as small as a cigarette lighter. Speaking of cigarettes, almost everywhere is now smoke free, thanks so much.

So yes, the government is being run by idiots, gas is expensive and dear God may we all dodge the bullet of college loans, but we live in an amazing, wonderful and convenient place. And we're just getting started!
Celebrate it.

Snow in Brian Head today. Beautiful. 

The Lawbreakers

California passed a law, probably just like your state, and the people have chosen to ignore it, to thumb their nose at the lawmakers and police. What crime do they continue to commit?

They are texting.

Yes, while parked on the freeway, I see people with their heads down, thumbs punching at a great rate. I've seen them text while walking and running, while riding bicycles, and pushing strollers. But they do it in traffic the most.

And while I'm dead set against texting while driving, I say I understand. Because they sit in traffic for hours, crawling ahead with the speed of a California bureaucrat. I stared at a trunk one night while creeping along, I did the math; a person commutes in a big city for his entire working life, and he spends three to five years snorting someone else's exhaust. Why not play a little Angry Birds, check emails, text or write the new 'War and Peace'?

Three to five years. Couldn't someone, somehow, get a college degree? Then couldn't that same person write a book, 'How I Got a College Degree in Traffic'? Do you suppose  the cure for cancer, or at least the common cold, could be discovered under the red lights of taillights?

Contrarily, might these same people, on the edge of greatness, become serial killers or torture animals because they were prevented from texting? Perhaps we should cut them some slack. At least when they are parked.

But texting on a bicycle? These people are nuts.

Hardware and Speed, How Cool Is That?

I needed a bolt, nut and washer for my wheelbarrow, so I stopped in at the Big Box hardware store (the orange one, not the blue one) and without too much trouble, and with no help, managed to find them.

If you've ever done this, you know buying bolts and nuts is a pain in the cashier's derriere. You can't fit a tag with a SKU number on them. The cashier must grab a binder, flip through it and find the matching hardware, enter a nine digit number for each little piece and the crowd behind you builds with people and impatience, disgusted with themselves for getting into line behind you. Being a Capitalist, I imagine the price of the washer- eleven cents- versus the time the poor checker must waste on this endeavor, and I figure the orange Big Box hardware store-or even the blue one-would be better off to just leave boxes of them in the entrance and give them away. Okay, maybe not.

But wait! Better yet, don't wait. The checker found tiny numbers on the parts, entered them and up on the screen popped images of bolts, nuts and washers. Tink tink tink tink tink (that's the sound of her tapping the touchscreen. It doesn't really make a 'tink' sound, but more like 'squirk.') and voila, the part numbers showed up and we finished the ring-up in no time. Wow! That deserves a Rave. Somebody figured it out, and God bless 'em. In addition, they've mastered the Visa swipe, the frosting on the cake. Slide the card and squiiiink (that's the sound of the machine pooping out the receipt. It doesn't really make a 'squiiiink' sound, but more like a 'whirr'), out popped the receipt. Yes, it's now faster to charge than pay cash and get change. Somebody did their homework, and for us folks who have the attention span and patience of an amoeba, it's a good thing indeed.

Apple Rave

God bless Apple and their I-Pad. And their employees.
There’s nothing like having a problem with a product to test their mettle. I purchased an I-Pad (a very pleasant experience) but it wouldn’t charge properly. Hauling it back to the Apple store, I knew this could go one of two ways.
Sydney met me at the door and asked if she could help. I surveyed her piercings and dying and wondered just how long it would be until the big day when she got her driver’s license. Saying ‘no’ to the Old Man inside, I said sure and told her my dilemma. Sydney took the thing and plugged it into one of their chargers in their brightly lit, open showroom. It worked. She then plugged my charger into the wall and tested it. It didn’t work.
She took a charger off the wall, ripped it open and hooked it up. Scanned the box with her phone and made a few notes. Problem solved! “Can I help you with anything else?”
Sure, a car charger. Once again she acquired the desired object, slid my card through her phone and asked me if I wanted a paper receipt, e-mail or both. Just e-mail is fine.
I left a happy customer, and well on the way to a loyal one.
Why? Lots of reasons, but the big one is that Sydney is an Empowered Employee. She took care of the entire thing. No taking it to ‘returns’, no handing me a box to send to Taiwan for six weeks, no giving it to a technician and queuing it up in a line.
Speaking of lines, there were none. No lines, no cash registers, no speakers overhead calling for help in the charger aisle, no wandering around the store, lost. Sydney did the entire thing with her sunny disposition, her skills and a phone the size of a… well, a phone.
Now I know why Apple has faithful, loyal customers.
Can you imagine it in health care?
You walk into the clinic and a nurse named Sydney greets you, holding a cell phone. She slides your card and knows your medical history. (Imagine health care without a pen and clipboard. Really. Try hard.) You describe your symptoms; she takes you to a room and examines you. Refers you to dermatology. You walk across the courtyard, and a doctor greets you by name, as he’s gotten the info from Sydney. He hooks you up.
No daytime TV, watching peoples’ pathetic lives, no plastic chairs, screaming kids, or six month old magazines. Imagine!
Imagine being a loyal health care customer.
Wouldn’t that be cool?
Hats off to Apple. They are doing it right.

The Lady with Class

This week’s ‘Monthly Rave’ winner is... Judi Moreo! (Thunderous applause, people standing) I met Judi at the Las Vegas Writer’s Conference where she spoke about getting out there and selling your books. Her vibrant personality (with a hint of southern charm) lit up the room. I didn’t realize the turn my life took that day.
Later Judi sent invites to the Henderson Writer’s Group for her book, ‘Life Choices; Pursuing Your Passions.’ I submitted my story and she published it in her anthology.
Since then I’ve worked with her in a number of capacities, and she is the real deal; motivational speaker, author, breast cancer survivor and a person of quality and integrity. I am pleased to be associated with her.
On March 23-25, Judi and the great people she surrounds herself with will be hosting ‘Life Choices; The Event,’ where a person can learn about changing his life, from different speakers and leaders that have overcome alcoholism, gambling addictions, death and loss and have found tools to succeed in life. You won’t want to miss this event!
Go to www.lifechoicesevent.com to check it out and register. Use the code PYPKP and I’ll be able to connect with you. Hurry, as the discounted rates are effective until January 31st. You can bring a friend at a discounted rate as well. Judi always signs off with, “You are more than enough.” Come and learn how you can be.
See you there!

Christmas Shopping

Christmas approaches- quick! What to do? Shopping, of course. And where is the best place to shop? You can't beat the mall.
At the expense of sounding old, I remember dashing from one store to another in chest deep snow- wait a minute. That was going to school in chest deep snow. But yes, it still was deeper than my elbows. We would rush from store to store, braving the weather. Then those clever American mall designers enclosed them, and voila! 'Shop 'til you drop' took on a whole new meaning.
The Little Woman and I shopped at a New Mall this year, with streets and sidewlaks between the shops. Welcome to the 1950s. Who's stupid idea was this? We suffered through temperatures in the low 50s and calm weather. It was terrible. In their defense, the money saved by not lighting/heating/cooling/decorating all that pedestrian area must be significant. I don't care, give me the mall!
Whether it's the econmoy or just time availability, shopping this year has been- brace yourself- a rather nice experience.
Except for a couple of times when women literally cut in on me and took parking spots, people have shopped in a pleasant manner. The clerks don't seem frazzled and spent. Courtesy abounds!
I hope your preparation for Christmas lacks frazzle too. Remember the Reason for the Season, and have a Merry Christmas.

Love Those Hamstars

Hats off to the Kia marketing people. The Little Woman and I rented a Kia Soul (Great name, by the way) and were pleasantly surprised at what a nice car they produced. It runs great, has most of the bells and whistles, and gets good mileage. What about that beautiful boxy design by Ralph, the engineer who was punished for goofing off, so he could only use a T-square to design the body. Right. But the Monthly Rave is really about their advertising program.
Remember the Kia commercial? Hamsters squeaking around town on the hamster wheels, then the Kia Hamstars roll through town, the music playing and they are cool. The entire vid contains no verbiage, just shows us how awesome it would be to drive a Soul.
Now you see the little boxes everywhere! They sold Souls like crazy. No, they didn't sell their souls, they sold their Souls. Forget it.
How do they do that? Imagine bright idea people sitting around a conference table, and they float different inspirations to each other. "No, that's dumb. That's silly. Wait. Hamsters driving our car and looking really cool? Okay!"
Yet marketing people pull it off, usually quite well. Jack, of Jack in the Box fame with his white plastic spherical head and wearing a suit, is cool. I cannot figure out why, but I love the guy. The Geico gecko, pretty cool. The Burger King plastic King? Really, really creepy. One commercial has him appearing in some kids' bedroom, and it looks like something from 'Psycho.' A swing and a miss on that one, people!
More? the Geico caveman. Pretty cool, but worn out. Flo of Progressive Insurance fame? Sometimes she pulls it off and sometimes she just doesn't. Budweiser rocks with Clydesdales, the lizards, Dale Earnhardt Jr., and on and on.
Anyway, let's give it up to Kia, the little guys who elbowed their way into the auto arena, (not an easy task!)using the Hamstars. The Little Woman and I roll around town, feeling cool, thinking we may be Hamstars ourselves. Rack the seat back and play the boom boom music. Oh, yeah. Rockin' in our Kia Soul.