The sign in the camprground restroom said, "Please turn out the lights before you leave." Okay, fine. But I was reading the one above the sink, not the one above the other sink, or the one at the door. Maybe I should just go shut the light off and brush my teeth in the dark. Another sign: "Please do not throw trash in the toilet. If you do, then we must snake the sewer line. Not fun." Well, I really want you to have fun, so I'll be good and throw trash in the...trash can.
How about a highway sign? In Colorado, at the end of construction zones, it reads, "Double penalty zone ends." Wouldn't another way of saying it read like this? "Go ahead and speed now. Fines are half price."
I love the one in Utah. Leaving Panquitch, it says, "You are not on highway 87." Apparently lots of folks leave town via the wrong road.
The motel room signs kill me. "Save the planet." That's how it starts. It goes on to explain that I would save water if I reused my towel. Okay, fine. But 'Save the Planet'? It sounds like the Earth is about to spin out of control, hurtle into the Sun, burst into an inferno and become a cloud of ashes, but at the last second, Kevin elected to reuse his towel. Thank God! Once again the Earth is rescued.
Let's not forget the wonderful parks (They really are wonderful). Five thousand times they tell us the Earth is fragile, delicate, and we must treat it with care. Let me be clear; I'm not promoting dumping toxic waste over the edge of the Grand Canyon, but please stop nagging me!
Why must they nag? Then I enter a stall, and some um... how do I say 'pig' without annoying anyone? Some other person neglects to flush. How difficult is that? Apparently the signs were created for them.
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