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A Conversation With Libby



I thought we'd do an impromptu interview with Libby. We haven't heard from her for awhile.
Kevin Parsons:  Hello, Libby, how are you?
Libby:  I'm not speaking to you.
KP:     What? What's wrong?
L:        Wrong? You stuck me in a dark garage all winter, then took me to your house and placed me here.
KP:     Here.
L:        In the garage. Between these two...things.
K:       Oh, right. The Hayabusa and the Honda XR400 dirt bike.  
L:        A dirt bike. I shudder. Why would any motorcycle want to go in the dirt?
K:       Well, it's built for it. It's a lot smaller and light-
L:        Oh, so I'm fat.
K:       You're just...designed for a different application.
L:        Speaking of fat, nothing makes a bike feel fat like being parked next to that hideous purple thing there.
K:       It's pretty small and narrow. Fast too.
L:        It sure is grumpy.
K;       You'd be grumpy too if you only got to ride a couple of times a year, at most, and only for a minute.
L:        What a pathetic life for a bike.
K:        Oh, but when she's going fast, she sings.
L:         Like sixty and above...
K:        More like a hundred fifty. then she starts to sing.
L:         She?
K:        Uh, he. It's just a bike.
L:         Ooooh! So you're seeing another bike. While I sit in this garage. I'm built to ride, you know.
K:        I know,I know. Been busy. But I've taken you out.
L:         Oh, right. Commuting. I just love sitting at red lights.
K:        Tell you what. A week from Saturday, I'll take you to see Dad.
L:         At Lake Havasu?
K:        Yep.
L:         We'll ride through little towns?
K:        Sure. Searchlight, Needles, or we could go through Laughlin, Bullhead City....
L:         Oh, goody goody! And no freeways!
K:        Uh, we'll hit 40. Can't avoid it.
L:         But mostly highways, right?
K:        Yep. Open road, curving highways. And almost no traffic lights.
L;         Wonderful. And one other thing.
K:         Anything, Libby.
L:          Get rid of those other two.
K:         Not happening girl. Sorry.
L:          Do it or I'll blow my lower case seals.
K:         Right. You're a Gold Wing. Now if you said, 'Burn out my headlights,' I'd believe you.
L:          What's that supposed to mean?
K:         It means in 45,000 miles, you're on your third set.
L:          I'll have you know I run with them all day, all night.
K:         Well, you could burn them out a lot less.
L:          Well I never! Next time I'll refuse to start.
K:          Fat chance.
L:           Did you say fat?
K:          It was a colloquialism.
L:           Don't use big words on me! Get me some unleaded fuel. Carbon fiber parts. titanium, aluminum-
K:          Give it a rest girl.
L:           I'm not speaking to you.
K:          Like that's going to work. You warned that at the beginning of the interview.
L:
K:          Hello?
L:
K;          Okay... I guess this interview is over.






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