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Those Pesky Passwords

Username. Password. Who invented this stuff? I know, we need to be 'secure'. I have a list on my iPad of fifty -nine (59!) usernames and passwords. And no, they aren't the same. They have evolved.
First, I decided to use the name of the next door neighbor's dog from my youth. Mrs. Ellsworth. That's right. They called her Mrs. Ellsworth for short. That seemed random enough. But then someone wanted numbers too, it needed to be stronger. I decided to use the ages I started smoking and drinking, respectively. mrs913ellsworth. And yes, I started a life of debauchery at a young age.

Soon, that wasn't enough, it needed to be STRONGER. Fine. I'll add my first curse word. It morphed into mrs913 ellsworth*#!!%$.

As many of you know, my email was hacked lately. Really? This means war. I decided to create a password that would be unhackable (Is unhackable a word?) The new badboy password became @*!$^$#mrs+=-stupid5D4=+/*6~<: u="">ells913
;./?worth69*#!!%$. Ain't nobody hacking that! But then I realized that if anyone accessed my iPad, they'd get my number. Oh, no no no! The iPad requires a password. Except it is only four numbesr. We aren't very secure! Rather than write it down, I took a couple of weeks and memorized the unhackable code. A few years ago (okay, a few decades) we used to say, Tthey can put a man on the moon, so why can't they... (insert frustration here)? I ask you, why can't they do a retina scan along with fingerprints from the keyboard? I'll just have to stick with my unhackable password of @*!$^$#mrs+=-stupid5D4=+/*6~<: u="">ells913
;./?worth69*#!!%$. Wait a minute. I just posted it on my blog!


Sherry Carter said...

I giggled through this entire thing!

I have an EXCEL file on my laptop that lists all my dozens of passwords. It's password protected, of course. So, I brag, I only have to remember one measly password.

Oh, no! What if someone steals my laptop? If they hack into that file, my whole life will lie bared before them.

What to do? I know - I'll just use one of these stupid "prove you're not a robot" things as my password. That'll show them!

Kevin Parsons said...

When we tell our grandkids about passwords, hopefully in just a few years, they'll say, "What's a password?" I hope.