Follow by Email

The Monthly Rant; Unsynchronized Traffic Lights





Sometimes, you can feel it. It’s like the button on a nuclear bomb. The red one, under the clear plastic cover with two locks. Sitting at another red light, it hits you;
We’re all going to snap.
We’re talking unsynchronized lights, friends. It could be the end of civilization as we know it. You know the drill. Wait for the light while no one crosses. The other light- even though you can’t see it- glows green for no one.
And you wait.
Finally, you see green, and the entire mass launches, a collection of frustration and impatience, gains speed, and hurtle to the next light.
Red.
The tension builds. The red stares at you. No matter what you say to it, it doesn’t care.
Really? Perhaps it hates you. It dawns on you, the light has it in for you. Why would it make you wait for no cars, until a car finally approaches from your right, and it turns red for them?
It must be a conspiracy.
Way back- and I mean way, way back, before computers, the internet, microwaves and even before push button phones, I remember synchronized lights. In Everett, Washington, in the sixties, when you drove into town on Evergreen Way, the sign said;
Lights set for 29 miles per hour.
So, if you caught the first light, simply wait for the green and drive 29 MPH all the way through town!
Our government brainiacs could come up with something as efficient as this now. We have computers, for crying out loud! Spend those Bama Bucks and get these lights to think and get us going.
And it is extremely green.
Cars waste fuel sitting at lights, and emit more emissions accelerating. Wouldn’t it be in our best interest to keep the traffic flowing? Imagine your street, and at each end, clear out of town, the sign reads;
Lights set for 93 miles per hour.
Okay, that’s rather mad. Maybe 78. Fine, then. 59. 43? Forty three sounds pretty good. Here’s a list of the benefits of synchronized lights;
1.) Speeding is greatly reduced. We still will have plenty of stupid people who will race up to the next red light and slam on the brakes, but what can you do?
2.) People won’t run the light because they will have the same problem at the next light, unless they speed. Oops. Back to the stupid people part.
3.) We will save fuel
4.) We will curb emissions.
5.) We will wear out fewer brakes.
6.) But the big one- and I mean big- is we may have peace in our lives. Not just the people at the light, but people in the city. In the Sate. In the country. Perhaps we could be a model for the world, and this could be the tool for world peace!
But since we don’t have the synchronized, lights, you can feel it. And it gnaws at you, doesn’t it?
What if everyone, at every light, all over the country, at once, just…snapped?

No comments: