I woke yesterday (Sunday, my favorite day to wake up), to the sound of birds. They cheeped and chirped, warbled and sang, Yes! Spring really is here. I heard them because the window was open all night. (Note; if you're a robber and enter houses through open windows, please ignore this post. Oops. Probably should have said that in the beginning.) This time of year is the absolute best. No heat (expensive) and no A/C (ridiculously expensive). The grass is green again, and the shrubs are in bloom. Oranges and yellows, bright and filled with joy and promise. I have no idea what they are, but they sure look pretty.
The rumor is that Death Valley is blooming like crazy, the best since 2005.
Who is the marketing genius that named it Death Valley? Can't you imagine a grizzled bunch of old dusty miners sitting around in a board room?
"I like Borax Mine," says Nevada Charlie.
"Naw," says One Eyed Jack as he spits tobacco into the corner, "How about something clever and exotic, like 'Tahiti?'"
"Already taken," mutters One Tooth Marvin.
"Ain't nobody named a place Death Valley." Mad Dog Brennan chugs on his Evian water.
"That sounds good."
"The motion is carried."
It probably went something like that, don't you think?
It's the lowest spot on the planet, so why not call it something clever, like, 'The Lowest Spot on the Planet'?
I am dying to get out there. It is a fascinating place to visit. If you're old enough, you remember 'Twenty Mule Team Borax'. That was soap that felt like sand and could clean any dirt or grease off your hands, or simply grind down a few layers of skin until they were clean. However, remember the label?
"Eh? What's that, sonny?"
"I SAID, REMEMBER THE LABEL?"
Anyway the label showed a wagon with ten mules (two wide, we assumed) pulling it. That is where they actually did that, in the Borax mines of Death Valley. It is an ecological icon. There is stuff growing there- and oozing there- like you've never seen before. Even the soil is different from anything you've seen elsewhere. No place like it, I tell ya. Got to get out there!